The Flag's a Plus

Before I moved to Switzerland, I was playing with Google Maps, and I noticed that my driving directions always warned me "Route passes through Switzerland" with the same sort of warning that it used for toll roads, ferries, etc. I also learned that The Swiss Do Not Speed. It's something of a stereotype in Europe, and I assumed that it was a result of the general "respect for your neighbors" attitude. Nope. It turns out that speeding fines are really expensive in Switzerland . It's a 120 CHF fine for traveling 6km/h (4mph) over the speed limit in a residential area. Going 25 km/h (16mph) over the speed limit results in losing your license for a minimum of 3 months and a criminal conviction. If it happens again, in addition to much larger penalties, you have to visit a psychologist to figure out whether you can be trusted to ever drive again.

I was going to send a few gift boxes with local food from Switzerland to people in the US. I knew that Chocolate didn't ship well (mail packages are likely to freeze, which causes the chocolate to bloom and turn white), but I found a few other things that might survive. I talked to someone at the post office, and she warned me that food shipments to the US are very complicated and out of the control of Swiss Post. She. Was. Not. Exaggerating. To ship food: First, I need to register as an international shipper with the FDA. Of course, they want a ton of information, and they can't pull it from any of the dozens of other government systems where my name, address, SSN, passport number, TSA ID, fingerprints, iris scan, tongue prints, etc. are already on file. Then, for every package, I need to go to their website and list VERY detailed contents (including ingredients) for each package. Those will be reviewed and, if acceptable, I will receive a 12-digit confirmation numbe...